The Tallest Man I Ever Loved

The Tallest Man I Ever Loved

nytimes.com/essaycontest.In trying to comfort him about not comforting me, I actually said, “Oh, it’s O.K.!” about my own dead father. I was really nailing this interaction.“You want to have dinner and catch up?” he said.“Yes!” I practically floated to the laundromat. I knew this wasn’t a date, but I was still excited.We picked a Greek…

nytimes.com/essaycontest

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In trying to comfort him about not comforting me, I actually said, “Oh, it’s O.K.!” about my own dead father. I was really nailing this interaction.

“You want to have dinner and catch up?” he said.

“Yes!” I practically floated to the laundromat. I knew this wasn’t a date, but I was still excited.

We picked a Greek place and ordered gyros and beer. I didn’t drink beer, but beer seemed appropriate for my non-date date with this straight guy. We talked about my father’s funeral, and I really opened up to him. Maybe because it wasn’t a date.

“It’s been a crazy couple of months,” he said. “After my divorce I really had to think about what had gone wrong with my marriage.”

Andrew Rannells is an actor and writer, appearing most recently in Showtime’s “Black Monday.” This essay is adapted from his book, “Too Much Is Not Enough: A Memoir of Fumbling Toward Adulthood,” out this month.

Modern Love can be reached at modernlove@nytimes.com.

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By ANDREW RANNELLSRead Original Publication

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